i want to put all the money i have in a small brown paper bag, pack a few essentials, get Zeus ready for a trip and just leave. its been a fantasy of mine i just dont have the balls to do it. i keep thinking and re thinking things. where i'd find money to live once im out. Would i miss my work even tho im not so in love with it. where should i go? which countries wouldnt have a problem with me bringing my stinker bell Zeus...
Has anyone ever done this?
Tuesday, 28 December 2010
Friday, 24 December 2010
2010 meet 2011
Another year is coming to an end. it feels abrupt this time. 2010 felt, if possible, longer then all the other years! i wonder if they squeezed in a couple of extra weeks without us knowing.
So many things i told myself i'd do last year and so many things i didnt do. So this year, i wont make myself any promises... this year, i'm going to take it as is. No plans to make it better, no plans to make it worse. Just try my best to do the best that i can. That's all anyone can ask of themselves anyways.. So i definately wont put myself down this time.
Oh, and a few advices to myself:
1) It's ok to make mistakes, EVERYBODY does it. Learn from them and move on!
2) Kiss.
3) There's always light at the end of the tunnel, but u wont see it unless u open ur eyes.
4) Love.
5) Forgive.
6) Don't forget, u know the saying... Fool me once....
7) Speak up, if ppl dont like u for who u r, then they r not worth being with!
8) UR family is precious, love them, support them but take a step back.
9) Stop feeling guilty unless appropriate... and no, most of the times it isnt!
10) Be kind, dont be a pushover. Dont let people take advantage of u.
11) Exercise.
12) Enjoy the massages.
13) Take care of ur skin.
14) Take care of ur hair.
15) Eat healthy.
16) Learn to cook.
17) Enjoy the small stuff.
So many things i told myself i'd do last year and so many things i didnt do. So this year, i wont make myself any promises... this year, i'm going to take it as is. No plans to make it better, no plans to make it worse. Just try my best to do the best that i can. That's all anyone can ask of themselves anyways.. So i definately wont put myself down this time.
Oh, and a few advices to myself:
1) It's ok to make mistakes, EVERYBODY does it. Learn from them and move on!
2) Kiss.
3) There's always light at the end of the tunnel, but u wont see it unless u open ur eyes.
4) Love.
5) Forgive.
6) Don't forget, u know the saying... Fool me once....
7) Speak up, if ppl dont like u for who u r, then they r not worth being with!
8) UR family is precious, love them, support them but take a step back.
9) Stop feeling guilty unless appropriate... and no, most of the times it isnt!
10) Be kind, dont be a pushover. Dont let people take advantage of u.
11) Exercise.
12) Enjoy the massages.
13) Take care of ur skin.
14) Take care of ur hair.
15) Eat healthy.
16) Learn to cook.
17) Enjoy the small stuff.
Monday, 20 December 2010
family ties.
i'm leaving my family home today, going back to the town where i work, the town that's about 1200 km away from my family and my boyfriend. i hate goodbyes. Even short ones. I hate leaving.
I love travelling but i hate the travelling part. I love arriving, and the touring and the meeting new people and eating good food. But i hate the airports, the airplanes, the food there!
let me not get off the subject. i need to cut my umbilical cord. the one that has me strongly attached to my parents and siblings. i love them but i think its time i live for me, that i make my own family.
why am i sharing this?
does anyone out there feel the same?
I love travelling but i hate the travelling part. I love arriving, and the touring and the meeting new people and eating good food. But i hate the airports, the airplanes, the food there!
let me not get off the subject. i need to cut my umbilical cord. the one that has me strongly attached to my parents and siblings. i love them but i think its time i live for me, that i make my own family.
why am i sharing this?
does anyone out there feel the same?
shout
Oh God i need to scream, to somehow let all these negative emotions im feeling out! i have never drank an alcoholic bevarage and yet im craving it so much! i need something to just shut my mind up, to dumben all my senses so all i can focus on is not falling down. i want to be stress free, worry free, bad-free...
i wish, oh i just wish!
i wish, oh i just wish!
Sunday, 19 December 2010
a ticket out.
We're just a few days shy off new years, and all i can do is sit and sulk. I only dream of a different future, but it's so hard to change a life, especially a comfortable one. But i'm tired.
I'm tired of being so empathic i feel sick when bad things happen to people. I'm so tired of not being able to fall asleep without something playing on my laptop so as not to think.
I sometimes dream of getting a small suitcase, emptying my bank accounts, and buying the first ticket out of here to nowhere. A place where nobody knows me and i know nobody and just make a new life for myself. Build my own home, grow my own garden, take care of the animals in my yard and of course my cat. The reason why i don't just take off.
I dream of a simpler life where money is nothing but paper. Where technology is science fiction. All i demand is a functioning toilet (what can i say, we all have our indulgences).
I wonder if my life would be happier if i were far from my loved ones. That way i wouldnt have to suffer when they did. I wouldnt have to live with the accusing eyes of those whom, even if they love me, don't agree with my way of life.
I'm 32, i hate the fact that i still feel like a 12 year old. i have to remember, nobody owns me, nobody can tell me what i can or can not do... i'm 32. Im an adult. i have my own mind, my own ideas, my own desires, my own limits...
im tired.
I'm tired of being so empathic i feel sick when bad things happen to people. I'm so tired of not being able to fall asleep without something playing on my laptop so as not to think.
I sometimes dream of getting a small suitcase, emptying my bank accounts, and buying the first ticket out of here to nowhere. A place where nobody knows me and i know nobody and just make a new life for myself. Build my own home, grow my own garden, take care of the animals in my yard and of course my cat. The reason why i don't just take off.
I dream of a simpler life where money is nothing but paper. Where technology is science fiction. All i demand is a functioning toilet (what can i say, we all have our indulgences).
I wonder if my life would be happier if i were far from my loved ones. That way i wouldnt have to suffer when they did. I wouldnt have to live with the accusing eyes of those whom, even if they love me, don't agree with my way of life.
I'm 32, i hate the fact that i still feel like a 12 year old. i have to remember, nobody owns me, nobody can tell me what i can or can not do... i'm 32. Im an adult. i have my own mind, my own ideas, my own desires, my own limits...
im tired.
Wednesday, 1 December 2010
I love my cat
That's it,
That's all...
i love him to bits,
he's nasty and fat.
He purrs when i kiss him,
and sometimes he hisses.
he's wonderful...
he's yummie,
he's my Zeus!
That's all...
i love him to bits,
he's nasty and fat.
He purrs when i kiss him,
and sometimes he hisses.
he's wonderful...
he's yummie,
he's my Zeus!
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