We're just a few days shy off new years, and all i can do is sit and sulk. I only dream of a different future, but it's so hard to change a life, especially a comfortable one. But i'm tired.
I'm tired of being so empathic i feel sick when bad things happen to people. I'm so tired of not being able to fall asleep without something playing on my laptop so as not to think.
I sometimes dream of getting a small suitcase, emptying my bank accounts, and buying the first ticket out of here to nowhere. A place where nobody knows me and i know nobody and just make a new life for myself. Build my own home, grow my own garden, take care of the animals in my yard and of course my cat. The reason why i don't just take off.
I dream of a simpler life where money is nothing but paper. Where technology is science fiction. All i demand is a functioning toilet (what can i say, we all have our indulgences).
I wonder if my life would be happier if i were far from my loved ones. That way i wouldnt have to suffer when they did. I wouldnt have to live with the accusing eyes of those whom, even if they love me, don't agree with my way of life.
I'm 32, i hate the fact that i still feel like a 12 year old. i have to remember, nobody owns me, nobody can tell me what i can or can not do... i'm 32. Im an adult. i have my own mind, my own ideas, my own desires, my own limits...
im tired.
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