insomnia

I can't sleep. i wonder if it's the cappuccino i had earlier today or if it's the answer i got from my fiance? maybe it's a bit of both. Maybe it's neither.
I'm lying in bed listening to my cat purr and playing with this silly application on facebook. Dont know if you've ever come across it, the one where you vote if a person is "sexy", or "cute", or whatever. I've been on it for over an hour and i wonder, is it because i feel my self esteem has plumeteth to the ground that i need complete strangers (and possible perverts) to vote for me? does the fact that i get voted "Sexy" by a complete nobody really boost my selfesteem or is it me looking for something i am missing at the moment?
I'm lost, i have so many questions passing through my mind and not enough answers to satisfy me.
Maybe that's simply because they are "my" answers, and all i want, all i ever wanted was "his" answers.
This brings me a flashback to when i was younger and i would ask my mother if she loved me, and she wouldnt say she did, she'd simply say, "what a stupid question" but knowing that she loved me wasn't enough, i just wanted to hear the words...


i just want to hear the words...